What else can i do with it to make my novel more interesting?

This is just the beginning!



Dakota threw the covers off herself Monday morning. She knew today was a big day. Her mom and dad had something important to tell her and her sister. She smelled the clean, fresh air that circulated her room. Then, Dakota slowly got out of her bed. It was so peaceful and quiet that morning. That was...until Dakota's little sister, Paige came bursting threw the door.



"Mommy and daddy aren't awake yet!" she cried. Paige was only four-years-old so Dakota thought she was too little for such big news the way her mom and dad had phrased it.



"Paige, please, get out of my room." said Dakota.



"Me want mommy and daddy." Paige stomped her foot and turned the other way.



Dakota got up and walked out of the room leaving Paige in the corner not knowing Dakota got up. She raced into her mom and dad's room and shook her poor mother awake.



"Yes, dear?" asked her mother sitting up.



"Mom, dont you think that Paige is a little too young to know what the big news is that you have to tell us?" asked Dakota.



"Honey, this is something she really needs to know." said Dakota's mom.



"Ok."



What the Book is About:



It's about a girl named Dakota and her sister Paige knowing the news about them moving to a new state. Dakota doesnt want to move at first but when she gets there she makes a new friend next door. Her new friend knows a secret that's bigger then moving. Her new friend's parents own a secret part of property somewhere else in the world. Its bigger then North America this continent/country is! Its the only plantation that holds all mythical creatures.What else can i do with it to make my novel more interesting?
Me want mommy and daddy. No goey!!! Me think Dakota should move to North or South Dakota cuz that funny! Me no see where story goey (plot twist, conflicts, etc)...do they just goey to plantation to pet cute mythical animals? Me want unicorn!!What else can i do with it to make my novel more interesting?
Print it off and read it out loud or get someone to read it to you and you will hear the things that need changing. Punctuation and spelling need to be looked at too. The very first sentence "she threw the covers off herself Monday morning," needs to be changed and there are one or two like that. I don't think a four year old would talk like that either so give that some thought as well.

The story has potential and you have a certain style that could be developed so keep writing and working at it until you finish it. Good luck with your writing and don't give up on it either.