Thursday, February 9, 2012

Would someone help me re-write this thesis into a more cohesive, argumentative thesis?

"Tobacco, as a commercial product, was introduced in North America in the 16th century. Eventually, tobacco became an economic engine increasing exports for the colonies, promoting and spurring the demand for cheap labor in the form of slavery, expanding the size and number of plantations, and improving the standard of living for the Jamestown colonists. However, tobacco鈥檚 continuing economic success raised a number of significant economic and societal challenges as well as moral issues. "Would someone help me re-write this thesis into a more cohesive, argumentative thesis?
Tobacco is known as the foundation for North America as a commercial product since the 16th century. The selling and buying funded increasing exports for the colonies, promoted the demand for cheap labor in the form of slavery, expanded the size and number of plantations, and improved the standard of living for the Jamestown colonists. Today, due to health concerns and political responsibility, the need for Tobacco is being questioned by the moral compass of thousands of Americans.Would someone help me re-write this thesis into a more cohesive, argumentative thesis?
This is not a thesis. A thesis should be no more than one or two sentences. I actually like the last sentence for the thesis.
"Tobacco's continuing success has raised a number of significant economic and social challenges, as well as moral issues."
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